And as we all know, this is not a spoiler-free zone.
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Riverlands:
I have a great joke.
So a one-handed Kingslayer rides into a forest and . . . what? Too soon?
I have a great joke.
So a one-handed Kingslayer rides into a forest and . . . what? Too soon?
Apparently a Kingslayer without a sword-hand is not much of a Kingslayer at all. After losing his hand to Locke (the head of this House Bolton brigade), Jaime has the sads. After letting himself fall off a horse and then tricked into drinking horse piss, you'd think all the fight would be embarrassed out of him. But good ol' Jaime steals a sword and attempts to . . . get away? No, not that. Go on a murderous rampage? Umm . . . yeah, I think he tries to poke a few guys, but let's face it, this is not the same Jaime who went toe to toe with Ned Stark two seasons ago. In fact, we're almost liking this Jaime. It's amazing what pity will do to a character.
But Brienne isn't putting up with any of his pity. Later scolding him for not eating in order to stay alive, the Beauty of Tarth instructs Jaime to live so that he can one day take vengeance.
Arya, Gendry and the Hound are secretly transported to the underground clubhouse of the Brotherhood without Banners. Inside, they are introduced to Beric Dondarrion, the man Ned Stark sent out (in Season One) to hunt down The Mountain That Rides. There, with a red priest (seriously, these guys are popping up everywhere) Beric puts Sandor Clegane on trial and calls him a murderer. When none can actually point out specific murders, Arya Stark is finally able to stand up for her friend Mycah, the Butchers boy that the Hound killed early on in Season One. Properly accused, Dondarrion challenges Clegane to a trial by combat.
Beyond the Wall:
Forced to sling pig shit, Edd, Grenn and Rast complain about Craster and the fact that the Nightswatch is starving beyond the wall instead of returning to Castle Black. After a funeral for their fallen brothers in black, Karl - overwhelmed by hunger and anger - calls Craster a bastard (which shouldn't actually mean anything to Wildlings - but whatever) and the old man throws the Nightswatch out of his keep. The situation grows dark very quickly, something Commander Mormont attempts to fix until he is put against his own men who have now killed Craster. Mormont fights Karl face to face until Rast stabs him in the back (cause how else could you even think to take down the Old Bear?) Once down, Mormont is then repeatedly stabbed in the chest, and then as they say . . . Now His Watch Is Ended.
Naturally avoiding confrontation, Sam takes advantage of the fight and runs to rescue Gilly and her newborn son, hoping to take them both far away from Crasters Keep, and the backstabbing brothers of the Nightswatch.
Kings Landing:
Tyrion seeks advice from the one person in Kings Landing who might actually be worth trusting - or is he? Seeking proof that his sister tried to have him killed, Tyrion looks to Varys for answers, but the Spider has none to give him. Instead he tells the great tale of how he once lost his balls in a land far, far away when he was sold to a sorcerer. Varys gives great details on the pain he endured and how instead of greeting death eagerly, he forced himself to live a long life and that in the end, patience would reward him. As he opens a nearby crate to reveal the bound and gagged sorcerer, we are suddenly aware of the truth behind Varys words and how patient the Master of Whisperers truly is.
Later, after visiting Littlefingers brothel and speaking to Ros about Sansa, Varys meets with the Queen of Thorns to speak about the potential future of Sansa Stark. Littlefinger is dead set on removing Sansa from Kings Landing when he travels toward the Eyrie, and should Robb Stark fall in battle, Sansa becomes heir to Winterfell (what's left of it anyway) and if Littlefinger has Sansa, he could become more powerful than anyone dared to think, and would in the end destroy the Seven Kingdoms, if only to be King of the Ashes.
Joffrey - now Margaery's eager little lap dog - escorts his betrothed around the Sept of Baelor. It's the first time we're given images of the inside of a sept and it's much bigger than I'd imagined in my head while reading the books. The statues of the seven gods are enormous and tower over the characters (who also include Lady Olenna and Queen Cersei). Margaery encourages Joffrey to open the doors and greet his people, an act that Cersei believes is far too dangerous and is annoyed at his ignoring her. But ignoring Cersei is what Lannister men are good at doing in this episode, as her own father Tywin grows more and more bored with his daughter who only wants a pat on the head and to find out where they are in recovering Jaime. Unfortunately instead of an A for effort, Cersei is reprimanded for being unable to control Joffrey and reminded that such efforts resulted in this war and Jaime's capture in the first place.
In the Godswood, Margaery finds Sansa in prayer and seeks to know what she prays for. Sansa, clearly not knowing who to trust these days, is subtle with her desires. That is until Margaery befriends the young Stark, inviting her to see Highgarden one day and then asks if Sansa would like to be married to Loras Tyrell. And then right afterwards, my brain imploded for lack of book continuity - but then I got over it because I'm nice.
Winterfell:
Theon and his saving grace, a cleaning boy from Winterfell ride through Deepwood Motte where the boy claims Theon's sister Yara awaits him. The boy gives tales to Theon about how he too is Iron born and remembered the day when Theon was taken away from the Iron Islands to be a ward of Winterfell. Gaining Theon's trust, the boy learns that Theon never actually killed the young Stark boys. Once inside the castle where Yara supposedly awaits, Theon is sad to discover that he's actually back at the dungeon he escaped from earlier, and the boy who helped him is none other than Ramsay Snow - the Bastard of House Bolton!
And fans everywhere went, "HOLY SHIT!" in unison.
Elsewhere in the North, Bran continues to have dreams where he can not only walk and run, but climb again. I'm guessing because the actor was like, "OMG do I really have to keep sitting?! I was not told this when I got the part! I've literally been sitting for more than two seasons!" Or you know . . . something. Either that, or it's just a nice way to stab fans in the gut by reconnecting Bran with his family in his dreams. Previous dreams have shown Robb and Jon with him, and this one has Catelyn throw him from a tree, commanding him not to climb.
Across the Narrow Sea:
With her favored dragon on a long chain, Daenerys approaches the slaver, Kraznys to exchange Drogon for the 8,000 Unsullied. Jorah and Barristan both silently protest this decision, knowing that dragons will win her the Iron Throne, not slaves. But Dany does not listen as she hands over the leash holding her dragon, and receives the whip to command the great army.
But Brienne isn't putting up with any of his pity. Later scolding him for not eating in order to stay alive, the Beauty of Tarth instructs Jaime to live so that he can one day take vengeance.
Arya, Gendry and the Hound are secretly transported to the underground clubhouse of the Brotherhood without Banners. Inside, they are introduced to Beric Dondarrion, the man Ned Stark sent out (in Season One) to hunt down The Mountain That Rides. There, with a red priest (seriously, these guys are popping up everywhere) Beric puts Sandor Clegane on trial and calls him a murderer. When none can actually point out specific murders, Arya Stark is finally able to stand up for her friend Mycah, the Butchers boy that the Hound killed early on in Season One. Properly accused, Dondarrion challenges Clegane to a trial by combat.
Beyond the Wall:
Forced to sling pig shit, Edd, Grenn and Rast complain about Craster and the fact that the Nightswatch is starving beyond the wall instead of returning to Castle Black. After a funeral for their fallen brothers in black, Karl - overwhelmed by hunger and anger - calls Craster a bastard (which shouldn't actually mean anything to Wildlings - but whatever) and the old man throws the Nightswatch out of his keep. The situation grows dark very quickly, something Commander Mormont attempts to fix until he is put against his own men who have now killed Craster. Mormont fights Karl face to face until Rast stabs him in the back (cause how else could you even think to take down the Old Bear?) Once down, Mormont is then repeatedly stabbed in the chest, and then as they say . . . Now His Watch Is Ended.
Naturally avoiding confrontation, Sam takes advantage of the fight and runs to rescue Gilly and her newborn son, hoping to take them both far away from Crasters Keep, and the backstabbing brothers of the Nightswatch.
Kings Landing:
Tyrion seeks advice from the one person in Kings Landing who might actually be worth trusting - or is he? Seeking proof that his sister tried to have him killed, Tyrion looks to Varys for answers, but the Spider has none to give him. Instead he tells the great tale of how he once lost his balls in a land far, far away when he was sold to a sorcerer. Varys gives great details on the pain he endured and how instead of greeting death eagerly, he forced himself to live a long life and that in the end, patience would reward him. As he opens a nearby crate to reveal the bound and gagged sorcerer, we are suddenly aware of the truth behind Varys words and how patient the Master of Whisperers truly is.
Later, after visiting Littlefingers brothel and speaking to Ros about Sansa, Varys meets with the Queen of Thorns to speak about the potential future of Sansa Stark. Littlefinger is dead set on removing Sansa from Kings Landing when he travels toward the Eyrie, and should Robb Stark fall in battle, Sansa becomes heir to Winterfell (what's left of it anyway) and if Littlefinger has Sansa, he could become more powerful than anyone dared to think, and would in the end destroy the Seven Kingdoms, if only to be King of the Ashes.
Joffrey - now Margaery's eager little lap dog - escorts his betrothed around the Sept of Baelor. It's the first time we're given images of the inside of a sept and it's much bigger than I'd imagined in my head while reading the books. The statues of the seven gods are enormous and tower over the characters (who also include Lady Olenna and Queen Cersei). Margaery encourages Joffrey to open the doors and greet his people, an act that Cersei believes is far too dangerous and is annoyed at his ignoring her. But ignoring Cersei is what Lannister men are good at doing in this episode, as her own father Tywin grows more and more bored with his daughter who only wants a pat on the head and to find out where they are in recovering Jaime. Unfortunately instead of an A for effort, Cersei is reprimanded for being unable to control Joffrey and reminded that such efforts resulted in this war and Jaime's capture in the first place.
In the Godswood, Margaery finds Sansa in prayer and seeks to know what she prays for. Sansa, clearly not knowing who to trust these days, is subtle with her desires. That is until Margaery befriends the young Stark, inviting her to see Highgarden one day and then asks if Sansa would like to be married to Loras Tyrell. And then right afterwards, my brain imploded for lack of book continuity - but then I got over it because I'm nice.
Winterfell:
Theon and his saving grace, a cleaning boy from Winterfell ride through Deepwood Motte where the boy claims Theon's sister Yara awaits him. The boy gives tales to Theon about how he too is Iron born and remembered the day when Theon was taken away from the Iron Islands to be a ward of Winterfell. Gaining Theon's trust, the boy learns that Theon never actually killed the young Stark boys. Once inside the castle where Yara supposedly awaits, Theon is sad to discover that he's actually back at the dungeon he escaped from earlier, and the boy who helped him is none other than Ramsay Snow - the Bastard of House Bolton!
And fans everywhere went, "HOLY SHIT!" in unison.
Elsewhere in the North, Bran continues to have dreams where he can not only walk and run, but climb again. I'm guessing because the actor was like, "OMG do I really have to keep sitting?! I was not told this when I got the part! I've literally been sitting for more than two seasons!" Or you know . . . something. Either that, or it's just a nice way to stab fans in the gut by reconnecting Bran with his family in his dreams. Previous dreams have shown Robb and Jon with him, and this one has Catelyn throw him from a tree, commanding him not to climb.
Across the Narrow Sea:
With her favored dragon on a long chain, Daenerys approaches the slaver, Kraznys to exchange Drogon for the 8,000 Unsullied. Jorah and Barristan both silently protest this decision, knowing that dragons will win her the Iron Throne, not slaves. But Dany does not listen as she hands over the leash holding her dragon, and receives the whip to command the great army.
After testing the army for a brief moment, Daenerys reveals to Kraznys that she speaks Valyrian (Ooo . . . probably shouldn't have called her a whore all those times, huh?) and then she orders the Unsullied army to free all the slaves in the city, and to massacre the slavers. With one final word, she reveals her true plan: Dracarys.
Obediently, Drogon fires down upon Kraznys and then with his brothers, takes to the sky setting the city of Astapor to flame. Now free men, the Unsullied are asked to join her of their own will in taking back the Seven Kingdoms. All slam their spears on the ground in unison as they march to battle.
Okay, so I've had a bit to complain about this season, but this moment they got so wonderfully. It's not perfect. Far from it. There are characters missing not to mention a few minor plot holes but I don't even care! Anytime Daenerys turns Stormborn, blood of Old Valyria, the Last of the Targaryens, everyone shouts in triumph at the massive destruction that's about to unfold.
Definitely and by far the best episode so far this season!
Favorite Character: Daenerys. Clearly.
Favorite Quote: This whole scene....
Kraznys: Tell the bitch that her beast won't come.Daenerys: A dragon is not a slave.Kraznys: You speak Valyrian?Daenerys: I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, of the blood of Old Valyria. Valyrian is my mother tongue. Unsullied! Slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child. Strike the chains off every slave you see!Kraznys: I am your master! Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!Daenerys: Dracarys.
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